Opening Ceremonies

Life at Blass2000 gets pretty wild sometimes.

Last night Annie had sugar for the first time in quite a while. She’s been on the diet of champions as she trains for what will almost certainly be the most incredible half marathon Atlanta has ever seen (and they've hosted the olympics). So when sugar hit her glucose starved bloodstream things got crazy- like a five year old vegan who’s having Gushers for the first time crazy.

But I’m going too fast. Let me set the scene.

Over winter break Erin brought back some toys to Blass2000. Just some of the things she played with most in 7th grade- Her radical Razor scooter and a skateboard to shred on. Since she’s brought them back we’ve had fun trying to get Padfoot to skate around our kitchen. He’s not too keen on it now, but we know with this family’s genes it’s only a matter of time until we won’t be able to get him down from the half-pipe.

But these new wheels had just been sitting innocently by in our kitchen, the winter weather preventing Erin from showing us the 360 she mastered by the time she was 13. Then last night, someone, (I can’t remember who now and to lay blame would be pointless anyway) got out the marshmallows, whip cream, sprinkles and pretzels. These were the last remnants of junk food our pantry was clinging to, now filled with five kinds of greek yogurt and a lifetime supply of broccoli and tilapia. But with the wild abandon of middle school girls at a birthday party sleepover we were doing Redi-whip-shots-in-the-mouth and roasting marshmallows on pretzel sticks over Aspen Bay candles. At one point Erin even cracked an egg on her head for some unknowable reason, perhaps she was hallucinating. And  before you know it the forgotten skateboard and scooter in the corner seemed to glimmer with a narcotic sugar induced glow.

Thus the first Blass2000 X-Games was born.

Out on the mean streets of Pinoak Drive Erin and Annie lined up. It was bitter cold. So cold that everyone’s breath billowed out like a dragon’s and their fists balled up, numb and unfeeling. Erin’s hair was now frozen solid with shampoo and egg yolk remnants. Annie was sporting matching helmet, kneepads and windbreaker in a throwback look to the Old School skaters of the early 90’s, while Erin went for a classic Jay Adams-esque flannel and I’m-too-cool-for-you-attitude.

Let's blade brah

Too cool, Too blurry

 

I watched intently from the driveway as they posed for a photo-op, documenting the beginnings of what would be a historical moment for all of us. They went to the starting line- Annie on the scooter, Erin on the skateboard. Referee and Lighting Technician Ashton Taylor gave the starting signal and they were off. Annie got first off the line, scooting as fast as she could, but Erin’s years of training in the boarding arts caught her up. In the end it was a draw. So with renewed vigor they lined up again, this time knowing that someone would win or die trying. The starting signal was given again, this time both of them neck and neck, but then Erin gave it all she had… only to lead to a gnarly crash. Hysterical from sugar intake and shock she lay in the street laughing, as she saw all of her dreams of winning the X Games crash around her. Her knee badly injured, she laughed in the face of defeat as we all gathered around her, attempting to console that which could never be made right. In the aftermath of such tragedy Annie went inside and began to gargle along to the tune of “Under the Sea”, happy to have won, but haunted with the idea that it could just as easily been her, injured and heartbroken. Erin left her board behind and went to Sonic to drink away the pain. 


In the end I think we all learned a lesson. I’m sure we did. We had to.  

I just don’t know what it is yet.