Cheers to the Freakin' Weekend

You know, Blass2000 is just full of city girls and city dogs. Annie and Padfoot came to us fresh from Atlanta, Georgia where hip-hop and baseball run wild. Cat is from Huntsville, Alabama and you can argue that it doesn’t count as a big city, but you’re wrong because Huntsville has a Target and that rules out about three-fourths of Mississippi. Then, I’m from Austin, Texas. That’s why I’m so cool yet approachable. Keep Austin weird.

But here we are in Starkville, Mississippi-deep in the heart of Oktibbeha County, home to the Bulldogs who claim national championships right and left in Disc Golf, and where a 3-5 SEC season finished strong with “All I Do is Win” ringing loud through Davis Wade. You might not see the irony there or find yourself wondering how we begin to sort through the overwhelming number of possible weekend night activities. So let me break it down for you: Applebee’s.

It all started with a summer birthday. You know what they say about July 29? “You only turn 20.5 once!” If you haven’t heard that, you probably just don’t have friends who run off all over the country to throw their cellphones and Internet access back to the 80s and work for pennies to the hour at summer camps. With no Instagram collages and emoji-filled birthday texts, “did she even turn 20?!?!” the crowds murmur to themselves. And thus, Kari Ashton Taylor’s twenty and one half birthday was born.

It’s Wednesday, and secret texts were sent out and plans were made. But just as swiftly as it all began, a boy band (playing at Rick’s that night) crushed the plans with a mention of Jesus in one member’s Twitter bio. With the first year of her twenties half way over, desperate for a man and a spiritual leader, Ashton was forced to go and find her husband at the local venue. What seemed to be a major blow to the birthday bash turned out to be far better than one could ever imagine.

It’s a Thursday night in this college town and that’s what we call the weekend. As the most beautiful girls this side of the Mississippi begin to gather sparkling cider and flowers in hand, Ashton arrives at day two of her celebration. “SURPRISE!” no one shouted because it was ruined the day before. But candles were lit (and then relit and then relit because the extra dollar for trick candles is absolutely worth it every time,) and happy birthday was sung. Queso was had and pictures were taken. A beautiful affair for all. RUF was attended and then it was time.

“Applebee’s! Roll out!” I shouted as my friends told me to stop yelling seven times. As this fine dining establishment is on the other side of the city we had our goodbyes and said, “see you in five!” as we drove off into what would be the sunset if it didn’t set at four o’clock these days. We arrived in tens of twenties. Slowly taking over the bar and grill. Flocking to the table we began to sign up for songs while a strapping young man free styled an original Christian rap song. I’ve never been so thankful for an Applebee’s in the Bible belt as I was in that moment. 

Cat and I searched in vain for Macklemore’s “Can’t Hold Us” but were promised it would be there by next week. Instead we settled on “Miss Independent” because I think there’s a little Kelly Clarkson in all of us. But not to be outdone, Cat Wilson Madonna (Katy Learned and Annie, remember?) sang a beautiful rendition of “Bust a Move.” And that they did.

Meanwhile, Laura and Kaitlyn were robbed of a chance to steal the spotlight, as a shwasty young couple closed the night with what might have been an original song but impossible to know for sure because like I said, shwasty. It wasn’t fair and it’s not okay. But we’ll be back next Thursday and every Thursday after that. Because when the 39759 Applebee’s opens its doors you don’t walk away. Until after you’ve dropped the mic.

Opening Ceremonies

Life at Blass2000 gets pretty wild sometimes.

Last night Annie had sugar for the first time in quite a while. She’s been on the diet of champions as she trains for what will almost certainly be the most incredible half marathon Atlanta has ever seen (and they've hosted the olympics). So when sugar hit her glucose starved bloodstream things got crazy- like a five year old vegan who’s having Gushers for the first time crazy.

But I’m going too fast. Let me set the scene.

Over winter break Erin brought back some toys to Blass2000. Just some of the things she played with most in 7th grade- Her radical Razor scooter and a skateboard to shred on. Since she’s brought them back we’ve had fun trying to get Padfoot to skate around our kitchen. He’s not too keen on it now, but we know with this family’s genes it’s only a matter of time until we won’t be able to get him down from the half-pipe.

But these new wheels had just been sitting innocently by in our kitchen, the winter weather preventing Erin from showing us the 360 she mastered by the time she was 13. Then last night, someone, (I can’t remember who now and to lay blame would be pointless anyway) got out the marshmallows, whip cream, sprinkles and pretzels. These were the last remnants of junk food our pantry was clinging to, now filled with five kinds of greek yogurt and a lifetime supply of broccoli and tilapia. But with the wild abandon of middle school girls at a birthday party sleepover we were doing Redi-whip-shots-in-the-mouth and roasting marshmallows on pretzel sticks over Aspen Bay candles. At one point Erin even cracked an egg on her head for some unknowable reason, perhaps she was hallucinating. And  before you know it the forgotten skateboard and scooter in the corner seemed to glimmer with a narcotic sugar induced glow.

Thus the first Blass2000 X-Games was born.

Out on the mean streets of Pinoak Drive Erin and Annie lined up. It was bitter cold. So cold that everyone’s breath billowed out like a dragon’s and their fists balled up, numb and unfeeling. Erin’s hair was now frozen solid with shampoo and egg yolk remnants. Annie was sporting matching helmet, kneepads and windbreaker in a throwback look to the Old School skaters of the early 90’s, while Erin went for a classic Jay Adams-esque flannel and I’m-too-cool-for-you-attitude.

Let's blade brah

Too cool, Too blurry

 

I watched intently from the driveway as they posed for a photo-op, documenting the beginnings of what would be a historical moment for all of us. They went to the starting line- Annie on the scooter, Erin on the skateboard. Referee and Lighting Technician Ashton Taylor gave the starting signal and they were off. Annie got first off the line, scooting as fast as she could, but Erin’s years of training in the boarding arts caught her up. In the end it was a draw. So with renewed vigor they lined up again, this time knowing that someone would win or die trying. The starting signal was given again, this time both of them neck and neck, but then Erin gave it all she had… only to lead to a gnarly crash. Hysterical from sugar intake and shock she lay in the street laughing, as she saw all of her dreams of winning the X Games crash around her. Her knee badly injured, she laughed in the face of defeat as we all gathered around her, attempting to console that which could never be made right. In the aftermath of such tragedy Annie went inside and began to gargle along to the tune of “Under the Sea”, happy to have won, but haunted with the idea that it could just as easily been her, injured and heartbroken. Erin left her board behind and went to Sonic to drink away the pain. 


In the end I think we all learned a lesson. I’m sure we did. We had to.  

I just don’t know what it is yet.

Life at 2300

As I sit sipping hot tea, watching the world go by, I can’t help but reflect on the last three semesters here in Starkville. If you are anyone who’s anyone you probably wonder how my roommates have been so blessed to live with me. That’s fine. Natural even. People wonder.  So, I’m here to level the playing field. While I really am all that you’ve seen and heard and so so so much more, they aren’t so bad themselves. The wonder that is my roommate situation can really be summed up in a couple of phrases: the Annie Blass Effect and Cat Wilson Madonna.

The Annie Blass Effect.

It’s sweeping Starkville. You’ve probably fallen victim to Facebook invites for themed parties and Pinterest pancakes.

The blog name? (also the internet password, but focus) It's simple. Annie just shines too bright. (as in people don’t know anyone lives or exists in  Blass2000 except her because one time 400 people were invited to our house and Annie and Padfoot were mentioned most confidently and before anyone else, but we aren’t bitter so whatever, okay?)

Once on Columbus day, I awoke to a picture of the man himself with a quote that read, “we run things things don’t run we, on the nina, pinta and maria went he.” Culturally relevant, yet historically accurate. Tell me it gets better than that. It just doesn’t, y’all. For Christmas, Annie bought her best friends each a sweater because Ingrid Michaelson wrote a song about getting rich, buying nice ones, and learning how to dance. She reads Harry Potter to me at night before bed and then says "it's not a murder mystery, Erin" in a surprisingly calm tone considering how much she loves those books when I try to guess who Voldy is.

Annie has zoo clothes consisting of “overalls and a backwards cap” and a job at a local ice cream shop where she dishes out custard and happiness in honor of Connie Kendall- a beloved character and childhood friend from Adventures in Odyssey (blog post one #2). Annie is often heard asking her darling son, Padfoot if he is “showing love” or just more generally how his day is going.

See, Annie is the kind of person you don’t know is missing from your life until you need a roommate, invite her to the bachelor premiere, and then form an incredibly deep bond over how painfully obvious it is that Sean missed his chance with Des.

And who doesn’t want to wake up every Wednesday morning to breakfast and patriotic songs? Why wouldn’t you plan exactly what you’re going to do/say if/WHEN you run into John Krasinski at the Atlanta aquarium stingray tank? Why shouldn’t you color coordinate your notebooks for Valentine’s day and plan the perfect outfit to make the most friends in your crafts class?

If you were Annie Blass, you wouldn’t have to ask these questions because you would just know.

Her only weaknesses? Caring too much and working too hard.

And that’s the Annie Blass effect.

Cat Wilson Madonna.

Annie sings like an angel and plays the ukulele (she's stealing Cat's spotlight without even trying because #annieblasseffect but whatever) and Katy Learned (S/O YW) sings like what Broadway would sound like (if I was into musicals probably) and wears flower crowns in the most casual way. So what do you do with so much girl power, beauty, and raw talent? You form a band and then name it after the two most influential and powerful women in the course of American history- Cat Wilson and Madonna. [I don’t really know why Miley wasn’t mentioned in the name, but also yes I do and no I don’t want to talk about it.]

You’re probably thinking that it’s fine because people have made bands about you too- like me and One Direction for instance. But 1) no they have not. And 2) I’m just getting started.

Because do you have a BB gun sitting next to a dress form in your room? Oh, you learned to sew and make the perfect cherry pie and maybe even did some algebra because you were homeschooled your whole life? Have you ever started a story with, “when I lived in Hawaii and my best friend and I surfed every day…”? No. You haven’t. Because a book could be written about her adventures and what have you done today? Comp 1? Exactly.

One time, Cat entered a skirt she made in a fashion show, won the fashion show, and had her talents displayed in the Student Union before I even got out of bed. Not that it’s a competition but she’s always winning. Whatever.

Another time, in a bible study, Cat said she if she was going to jail it would probably be for killing somebody.  It was sarcastic. I think. Yet she still watched all six seasons of Gossip Girl by herself and then again with me. (Team Chuck and Blair. Not a discussion. Bye)

Speaking of Gossip Girl club, if I could be more like Cat Wilson I would be more awesome. But also I would be more passionate about everything. Like Parenthood, The Office, and lots and lots of weird shows I thought Netflix used only as decoration…

Cat probably thinks the Bachelor is the dumbest thing in the world and regularly impersonates the perfect way Juan Pablo says “you’re cute” every five minutes to every girl on the show. Yet her bachelor bracket is already 100% filled out and on the fridge because she’s in it to win it.

And she will win it. Because she’s the definition of girl power and perfection.

She’s Cat Wilson Madonna.

also this is Cat Wilson Madonna. so there's that.

Bachelor Pad

Favorites.
Everyone has them.
Favorite foods.
Favorite movies.
Favorite people (even if you deny it).

On January 12th I returned to Blass2000 and was greeted by this welcome.

In addition to Erin's presentation, Padfoot also received a bowtie crafted by Cat. 

So if you're going to have a favorite roomate, it should at least be the dog.

I received nothing.

xoxo

pandas3x